Scar
by Romanceismydrug
Summary: A story about the emotional journey Kurt and Blaine take when Kurt's life is threatened, and how they both deal with it.   This is before they *get together*  Warning: Angst/creys
1. Chapter 1

Kurt looked up once more at Karofsky's face, his vision blurred; he could only make out those two hated eyes that were twisted with emotion.

Kurt closed his eyes, breathed in just a bit, felt the pain and stopped. The pain was too much, he thought. I can't deal with this anymore. I don't want this life anymore. Another kick was delivered to his ribs, and his face was punched again for the hundredth time. Kurt felt something warm trickle down his face and seep into his mouth. Blood. The urge to fight back had left a long time ago, when they had cornered him outside of breadstix.

He was just going to get something from the car, a present for Blaine. He said he was going to be back in a minute, and had looked into those hazel eyes and smiled, Blaine smiled back, contributing to the happiness of the evening, and leaving Kurt in a good mood as he left the restaurant. Kurt had headed towards his car, an old crappy thing that was nothing compared to Blaine's. The cold night air had chilled him, and he was anxious to get back to his Dalton friends and see the look on Blaine's face as he opened his present. Kurt had gotten him a signed poster of rent, which he had happened upon in a friend's of his garage. He had thought of Blaine immediately, even though he desperately wanted to keep it for himself.

But oh, how that seemed ages ago to Kurt. The happiness had left his eyes, and the glow of friendship had left him, replaced with bruises and broken bones. He had played out the scene a hundred times, Blaine unwrapping his present and smiling, giving Kurt a desperately wanted hug. And now Kurt, being beaten by Karofsky and his friends, longed for that embrace more than ever. More than he did when they first met, more than the countless times they saw each other in the halls and the sunlight got caught in his hair and eyes making him more beautiful than ever before, more than when they talked and laughed together, he wanted it more than life itself.

But as Kurt had turned from his car, present in his hand, eager to see Blaine's face once more, he was met by Karofsky. A brute of a teenage boy, Karofsky snarled and ripped the present from Kurt's hands with ease. Kurt shouted at him , telling him to give it back, but his outburst was only stifled by Karofsky's friends grabbing him, securing him. "How do you like your little gay poster now, huh, gay boy?" Karofsky said with a bitter tone of sarcasm as he ripped it to pieces.

_That was for Blaine. _

Enraged, Kurt kicked as high as he possibly could, satisfied when he hit Karofsky in the chin. But that had just made things worse.

And mere punches had escalated into kicks in the ribs, forcing Kurt to collapse to the ground.

Now Kurt was praying, something he never did, praying to see his friends again, to see his family again, and to see Blaine again. Kurt knew he was dying, for the unbearable pain had turned into numbness, and the warm blood had turned cold.

_Blaine…._

Kurt knew he was dead when the kicking had stopped, and when an angel had ran in on his attackers, yelling at them. The angel looked awfully familiar, like Blaine, and Kurt smiled, drifting off into sweet memories.

"Kurt! _Kurt!_" Blaine screamed at the lifeless, beaten body slumped on the floor. Blaine looked up at Karofsky, who was slightly scared. "How dare you! How dare you beat Kurt up like that, you…you.." he was at loss for words, no words could define this hate he was feeling, or the gut wrenching fear he was experiencing as well. He yelled at the attackers to stay away, and kept an eye on them from a distance, making sure they couldn't escape.

Blaine had already called the police, and he knew they would arrive any second, but he wasn't worried about that, he was worried about Kurt.

"Kurt… Kurt, can you hear me?" Blaine whispered gently, as he bent down to the defaced body. He gingerly touched the still beautiful face, and watched his own tears fall onto the ground.

_Don't leave me Kurt….please, please don't. I had just found something worth living for, you._

"**Please."** Blaine nearly shouted, the tears spilling from his eyes even faster, and the sadness and pain consuming him completely.

Kurt looked up at the angel, he smiled.

_You look like Blaine…_

Guilt swept over Kurt, dimming the beautiful lights that surrounded him.

_I never told him I loved him. But I loved him -no…. I still love him; I will always love him -so much._

Kurt frowned; this was never supposed to happen. He was happy, the angel made him happy, he had to change things, he had to. Kurt looked up to the angel that was crying, and said softly

"Don't cry, angel. Don't cry."

Blaine looked at the beautiful blue eyes in surprise, did Kurt just talk? Or was he just imagining it?

Kurt smiled, and whispered weakly to Blaine, his "angel",

"Tell Blaine I loved him, very, very much, and I'm sorry that I could never tell him…"

And then Kurt drifted somewhere, a nice restful, painless place that consisted of images of Blaine and him together. And then he fell asleep, a small, heavenly smile placed on his lips.

Blaine gasped, he had forgotten to breathe. Those words, those words he had waited for for so long, coming from the beautiful boy lying on the pavement nearly killed him. Blaine collapsed, his emotions overpowering him.

"Kurt! No Kurt! No, please… no…don't do this to me; please don't do this to me. No! Kurt! Wake up Kurt! I …I love you! I always have, and I always will. Please, no…"

Blaine kissed Kurt fiercely on the mouth, hoping this would revive him in some way. But It didn't. No sign of life flickered in his face, no color in those glowing cheeks Blaine had always admired. Blaine saw nothing, nothing but pain. He glared at Karofsky, his passionate hatred burning even brighter, he wanted to be angry, but all he felt was numbing heartache. With hazel eyes full of anguish, Blaine crawled over to Kurt's left side. He wrapped his arms around him, and rested his head in the crook of Kurt's icy, pale neck. Miserable and with a broken heart, Blaine wept silently, and stayed there wrapped in Kurt's arms, even when the sounds of police sirens reached his ears, he laid there, unwilling to accept the truth, holding on to the last words Kurt had said to him.

Karofsky stared in shock, he never knew someone could love a person that much, he was glued to the spot, watching guiltily as Blaine wept. Then, with a strong yet pitiful voice, Blaine began to sing, with more emotion than ever before, and with more misery than he thought possible. Tears cascaded down his cheeks, But he sang it anyway, directing it towards Kurt;

"_Would you know my name__  
__If I saw you in heaven__  
__Will it be the same__  
__If I saw you in heaven__  
__I must be strong, and carry on__  
__Cause I know I don't belong__  
__Here in heaven__ " _His voice cracked, but he bravely continued anyway;_Would you hold my hand__  
__If I saw you in heaven__  
__Would you help me stand__  
__If I saw you in heaven__  
__I'll find my way, through night and day__  
__Cause I know I just can't stay__  
__Here in heaven__ "_ Blaine paused, his tears nearly restricting him from singing, then grabbed Kurt's icy hand for comfort, and began to sing once more;_Time can bring you down__  
__Time can bend your knee__  
__Time can break your heart__  
__Have you begging please__  
__Begging please"_

"Please." He repeated one more time, looking up at the beautiful stars, wishing Kurt could see them too. The police were starting to arrive, and the ambulance was not far, Blaine looked over at Kurt, love swelling up inside of him, and whispered his own feelings out loud, like he had imagined himself doing a million times;

"I love you too Kurt."

_to be continued_


	2. Chapter 2

"Hi Kurt," Blaine said as he walked into the hospital room, he was carrying flowers, "I'm sorry I was gone for so long, I went to get you flowers." Blaine smiled sadly. "They're pink today, and they look really pretty, I wish you could see them…" he told Kurt, and placed the flowers in an empty space in the room filled with them. A flower bouquet for everyday. Blaine bent down to Kurt and took his lifeless hand, "The doctors say your doing fine, and that there's a big chance you may wake up one day…" he choked back tears, not wanting to remember what had happened five weeks ago.

"Isn't that great? "

Kurt just laid there, with closed eyes, his mind somewhere else.

Blaine inhaled deeply and continued talking, it was the only way he could fight off the loneliness.

"Dalton isn't the same without you, everyone misses you a lot." He smiled slightly "Everyone wants to send you flowers, but I tell them there isn't any room."

He laughed, but then began to cry quietly, realizing laughter wasn't the same without Kurt.

"I really miss you." He said, filled with regret. Kurt had called him an angel.

**An Angel.**

_I'm no angel, I couldn't even save him. I don't deserve the happiness he would bring. I deserve nothing. Just the blame._

Taking his head in his hands, Blaine moaned.

Life was too hard. Life was too painful.

It was the first time he had ever loved someone that much, and when he wasn't there, _protecting_ him, Kurt had been beaten half to death.

_And that's all my Fault._

Blaine looked longingly at Kurt and sighed, hoping for a chance to redeem himself. To prove his love. For at the moment, Blaine thought he wasn't good enough, and that he didn't love Kurt enough.

_If I had only been there a minute earlier, I could of given Karofsky what he deserved. If only…._

When the police had arrived, Karofsky was detained and they had later decided that he was going to be tried in court, and so were his friends. Blaine was glad they were getting the punishment they deserved, but he knew he was mostly to blame.

If he had been there, if he stopped them, maybe Kurt wouldn't be in a coma.

Maybe they would be dating, and singing together and laughing together.

Blaine sighed and looked at his hands, Oh, how he wished to see Kurt's eyes look at him once more, see Kurt blush and smile, maybe even a harmless little wink, or what Blaine had desperately wanted ; a kiss.

That night, that horrible night, left such an impression on Blaine. He didn't go to school for a week, he stayed by Kurt's side the whole time, bringing him flowers every day. In the end he was forced to return to school, but everyday instead of heading to his dorm, he would go to Kurt.

Sighing, Blaine looked at Kurt's face, and he thought it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He leaned towards Kurt and pushed back the hair on his forehead to reveal a large scar.

_Karofsky._

With tears falling down his cheeks he slowly bent down and kissed it gently. "I'm so sorry Kurt, I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm so sorry you could never hear how much I care about you. I'm so sorry," he inhaled deeply, "and I will never forgive myself." Taking Kurt's hands once more he kissed them and held them to his face, glad that he could feel warmth and life.

But then, interrupting their precious moment, someone knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Blaine asked , annoyed.

The door slowly creaked open. And a large figure began to enter the room, Blaines eyes widened and he began to frown.

It was Karofsky.

"Umm…look, im here to apologize to Kurt and, well…you…" Karofsky looked down nervously, afraid of the glare Blaine was giving him.

_How dare him._ Blaine thought, boiling with rage.

He stood up quickly, and intensified his stare. "How _dare _you come in here. How _dare _you. Get out! GET OUT! You don't belong here, you…_heathen. _If I was there, _oh_, if I was there, you would of gotten what you deserved. But I wasn't! And you are lucky for that, and if you know what's good for you, I would leave right now." Blaine screamed at him, pointing towards the door.

Karofsky was shocked, he stood still, still trying to process what was just said to him

"Leave!" Blaine yelled again, and when he didn't, Blaine yelled even louder , "_Leave!" _

Fleeing, Karofsky ran out the door, shutting it tightly behind him.

Blaine breathed deeply, and let his anger slowly fade away. But Blaine hadn't felt nothing for a while, and so with the anger gone, grief and guilt swiftly came.

Why did Karofsky have to come?

He would never forgive Him, nor would he ever forgive himself.

Exhausted, frustrated and weary, Blaine slumped into his seat, needing Kurt by his side so badly.

_I don't care if we never could be together…no matter how much it would hurt me, all I want to see is him smiling once more, to see him alive and well…_

Unable to cope without some kind of comfort, Blaine crawled into Kurt's hospital bed, just like he had done very night. He wrapped his arms around him and laid his own head on Kurt's shoulder. Blaine snuggled closer to Kurt's body and held him there, the horrible memories flooding back. He squeezed Kurt to him closer, and ignored the tears that flowed freely .Tiredness began to seep in, and so He blinked back the tears and closed his eyes, preparing himself for the same nightmare he had every night.

"_Don't cry, angel. Don't cry." A beautiful boy was saying to him, Blaine squinted his eyes and finally recognized him. Kurt. Blaine gasped in shock and delight. He was there. In front of him. Happy, and smiling, singing some happy song and beckoning him to join. They were in a meadow, the sun shining on them brightly, and the long grass bristling their fingertips. Blaine was overcome with joy, he wanted to run up and hug Kurt, but was perfectly content with just watching him. The boy was twirling through the fields, laughing and soaking in the sun. "Blaine, follow me, come on!" he said while smiling, and started running forward, turning around ever so often, beckoning him with his eyes. Blaine smiled back and ran after him, eager to finally hold him in his arms and tell Kurt he loved him. _

_But Kurt was too fast, he was far ahead, and no matter how hard Blaine tried, he could never catch up to him_

_. "Wait! Kurt! Wait!"_

_he yelled after him, but the boy only laughed and kept running. Filled with the desire to have him safe, by his side, Blaine tried even harder. But then, as if the gods were frowning on Blaine and his love, a cloud covered the sun, and fog crept into the meadow. It darkened the golden grass, turning it a rusty brown and covered the whole meadow, making it a never ending maze. Blaine looked around franticly, Kurt was no longer there. Panic rushed in, and took over Blaine. _

_No, this can't happen again. No! he thought. I can't lose him again. I can't._

_He ran through the field, searching, hoping, praying... _

_Blaine screamed out his name, once, twice, a million times._

_But no answer came. Panting, he had fell to the ground, preparing himself for another search, when a scream echoed through the meadow._

_Blaine's eyes lit up and he practically jumped off the ground. _

"_Kurt? Is that you?"_

"_Help! Help!" a voice that sounded like Kurt's answered._

_Blaine ran with all his heart, ignoring the pain in his legs. The voice continued to scream for help, and Blaine raced towards it faster than he had thought imaginable. He slowed to a stop, right in front of him there was an area that was particularly foggy and dark, but he still could see what was happening._

_It was Karofsky. Killing Kurt._

"_NO! No! NO! Kurt! NO! Stop it! Stop!" Blaine yelled, and began to move forward, ready to fight Karofsky off, even if that meant sacrificing himself, but was blocked by a cage._

_Rusty bars surrounded him, He was trapped. While Kurt's life hung by a thread. And he couldn't do anything. _

_Blaine pulled at the metal bars, hit them, tried to bend them, but all his attempts at escape were futile. He couldn't get out. _

_He screamed, he yelled, he pleaded, he prayed. But it was as if he wasn't there. Karofsky just kept on beating, and Kurt just kept on cringing and crying. _

_No, no. No! _

_This can't be happening._

_He was awake._

_He was doing fine_

_He was __**smiling.**_

_But now, now I can't save him. Just like before. _

_Tears overcame Blaine. And he wept, witnessing his only love die. _

_But he doesn't know I love him. He doesn't know I truly care. He probably thinks I didn't try and save him, that I didn't care. _

_Blaine looked down, He couldn't stand the sight of Kurt, lifeless on the floor, being beat up by Karofsky. A whirlwind of guilt and grief terrorized him, and he cursed himself, and the world, for making him love Kurt that much._

_Almost too much._

_This was too horrible for Blaine, who was repeatedly hitting his head on the cages bars. _

_I can't survive this, he thought, _

_I can't survive this excruciatingly powerful love I'm feeling._

_Even when he's dying he's beautiful, even when he's covered in bruises he takes my breath away, and even when he isn't speaking, I catch my breath. _

_And now here I am, powerless, watching the life being sucked out of him slowly._

"Would you hold my hand  
If I saw you in heaven  
Would you help me stand  
If I saw you in heaven  
I'll find my way, through night and day  
Cause I know I just can't stay  
Here in heaven"

_Blaine couldn't have him die, he just couldn't. With a sudden determination, Blaine got off the ground and began yelling again. Shouting curses and threats, hoping his sudden fervor would stop Karofsky. But, just like before, it didn't. Kurt moaned in pain and Blaine stopped yelling, and now shook his prisons bars passionately. But this just ended in tears. And he was forced to see, to hear, what was happening to Kurt. The moans and gasps of pain, the sound of foot meeting flesh, and Karofsky's never ending insults._

"Time can bring you down  
Time can bend your knee  
Time can break your heart  
Have you begging please  
Begging please"

_But then, as if Blaine's life couldn't get any worse, Kurt started calling out his name. _

_Blaine gasped. Leaned forward, Swallowed, and gently asked "What? What is it, Kurt?" _

_Kurt looked at him with torment in his eyes, and reached out his hand towards Blaine. And Then with the most pitiful, sad, hopeless look, he said;_

"_Why…" Kurt took in a pained breath "why didn't you save me?"_

_And then, with a sickening crunch, a blow was delivered to his head, and Kurt's whole body relaxed, as if all the pain had gone. _

_Beep._

_Beeeeeep_

"Beep."

Blaine flew forward, gasping, he had been awakened by the beeping. He Looked around, not sure where it was coming from, then wiped his eyes, for he was still crying. Blaine ran his hands through his hair, and realized he was shaking. The dream, no matter how many times he'd experienced it, terrified him.

"Beep."

He looked around, and then towards the machines. The beeping was getting louder, as if it was an alarm of some sort.

And the Blaine Realized why the machine was beeping. And terror, stronger than ever before, flooded in.

Kurt's heart rate was going down.

He was dying.


	3. Chapter 3

"No! No! Kurt! Kurt! Not again! No, this can't be happening!" Blaine looked around, realizing there wasn't a nurse in sight.

He was scared. Terrified.

"Help! Help! Help!" he cried desperately, shaking Kurt's body, trying to wake him up.

"Don't leave me Kurt, don't leave me like you did before…." Tears began to well up in his eyes, "I should be able to protect you! I should've been there….. Kurt, oh Kurt! No…." he sobbed, then shouted as loud as he possibly could "HELP! Help!"

Finally A nurse came rushing in, looked at Kurt's Heart rate, and then began to work, paging other doctors immediately. " It's all my fault….. " Blaine whispered sadly, knowing Kurt could die today, and thinking it was because of him.

" Why! Why wasn't I there for him? Why didn't I love him enough? Why couldn't I save him? " Blaine asked the world, cursing himself.

_I'm not your angel, Kurt._

_I don't deserve your love._

_I promise to never allow myself happiness again. _

_I promise to never speak to you again._

_I promise to never get in the way of your life._

"And I promise to never stop loving you, no matter how long I live, no matter how many mistakes you make, I'll love you till the day I die_."_

_Kurt laughed. Heaven was nice._

"_At least I think its heaven…" Kurt wondered aloud. _

_He looked over to his angel, the one who looked like Blaine._

_Kurt smiled, and the angel smiled back._

_He didn't know exactly where he was, but Kurt knew it felt nice, safe, secure._

_And then of course there was his angel, who was there the whole time, providing him with a blanket of comfort and love._

_Kurt would pretend His angel was Blaine, and that he loved him. And then Kurt would be happy, as he held his angels hand. _

_But His angel was quiet. He never talked, he just sat there, staring into Kurt's eyes. Kurt enjoyed that immensely, and would stare back for hours, looking into the eyes that reminded him of Blaine. His angel was always there, supporting him. _

_But his angel couldn't protect Kurt from the haunting memories of the past. And when his angel left for just a moment, Kurt would remember._

_Remember how much he loved Blaine._

_And as the days in this dreamland passed, Kurt grew more and more weary. His angel had been leaving him even more lately, and for longer periods of time._

_And Blaine would haunt Kurt's heart and soul. Slowly tearing him to pieces._

_But at the moment, His angel was there, and Kurt was doing fine._

_Kurt was sitting in his angels lap, and leaning his head on the others shoulder. _

_Life was good, Kurt thought to himself, hoping this could go on forever._

_But then, in the midst of all this happiness, the angel pushed him gently off his lap and stood up. _

_He looked at Kurt queerly, then whispered ominously;_

"_Its time to wake up."_

_Kurt was puzzled. He looked at the angel and raised his eyebrow, wondering what he meant by that._

_But the angel just shook his head, in either disappointment or refusal to tell._

_Kurt began to get up, even more confused._

_But then, the nice, heavenly light that had always filled his dreamland, began to fade away._

_And then so did the comfort ._

_He didn't feel warm, or safe anymore._

_He felt vulnerable and cold._

_He felt pain._

"_Angel! Angel! What's going on?" Kurt yelled, panicking, wondering what was happening and why his angel wasn't there to protect him, but there was no one there.. ._

_Kurt was terrified._

_Then he heard noises. Doctors yelling, nurses shouting, machines beeping. _

_His eyelids fluttered. He breathed in cold, dry air._

_And woke up. _

Blaine looked down in shock as Kurt's eyes slowly opened and met his own.

_Those beautiful eyes._

A tiny bit of hope floated into Blaine, and he looked down at Kurt, praying he could stay awake, or even better, stay alive.

Blaine paid no attention to the yelling doctors rushing around him, Kurt and him were the only people in the room.

Kurt looked up at him and smiled, it was his angel.

But Kurt was still confused. He wanted to know why the angel had left in his moment of pain. He wanted to go back to that warm, safe dreamland.

"Angel," Kurt whispered weakly, while Blaine leaned in closer "What's going on? What is happening to me? Why," He breathed in painfully, causing Blaine to reach out to him and hold his hand " Why didn't you protect me?"

And then Kurts eyes rolled back, and his heart stopped beating.


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt looked down at Blaine with a sad smile on his lips.

"_Don't cry Blaine, please don't cry. I'm fine, I really am. Don't you see? Im an angel now, im going to heaven."_

He whispered in an even more angelic voice than before, and gestured towards his unfurled wings. Kurt was floating, air blowing through him, while light radiated from inside of him.

He was beautiful, blue eyes sparkling with the knowledge of the world, chestnut hair dancing with the heavenly wind. And his smile, bittersweet and pained, was all-knowing.

"_Don't cry, my angel, you did everything you could, it's not your fault._ "

Kurt repeated, wanting Blaine to be happy more than anything else in the world. He floated towards him, and put his hand over his, knowing that Blaine wouldn't feel anything, but still hoping he might.

But Blaine didn't feel it, he just stood there, in shock, as the doctors and nurses did everything they could to save him.

"_Your too late…"_

Kurt murmured sadly. But he knew Blaine wasn't going to give up. He delved into Blaine's mind, hoping to soothe him in some way, but only finding guilt and pain.

_Its all my all my fault. Its all my fault. Its all my fault._

Blaine kept repeating in his mind, unwilling to blame the universe for Kurt's sudden death.

"_No! No, don't you see? Don't you see? It wasn't your fault, it was not your fault. It was Karofsky's fault. Not yours."_

Kurt said, trying to reach Blaine somehow. But Blaine refused to listen to reason, and so Kurt went deeper into his mind, back into his memories.

Kurt was sucked back into the past. He was at Dalton, by the staircase where they had first met. He watched himself walk down the stairs, and heard Blaine thinking to himself, and felt the rush of excitement radiating from him.

And then Kurt's past self tapped the boy in front of him's shoulder, and Blaine turned around.

And Angel Kurt felt the awe, fascination, captivation and beginnings of love that Blaine was experiencing at the moment.

_He…he, was fascinated by me? He thought…I was….beautiful?_

Kurt thought in shock, never knowing Blaine had thought those things about him.

_So I might have had a chance with him….he might have been able to love me…._

Angel Kurt shook off the regret he was feeling, and dug even deeper, eager for memories, eager to know what Blaine thought of him the whole time.

Now he was in Dalton again, telling Blaine he was transferring to Dalton.

And Blaine was happy, excited, jubilant, and in _love._

Angel Kurt gasped.

_He…he LOVED me? How..how could…how..just how? Why didn't he ever tell me? Why…why…_

Kurt asked, wondering how anyone could ever love him.

Now, hungry for more, Kurt sifted through Blaine's memories, feeling the love Blaine had felt for him and wishing he could have had a chance with him.

A date with him.

A kiss with him.

_Forever with him._


End file.
